Better days

Things are looking up! Knock on wood, everyone is fairly healthy, we're over half through tax season, the weather is slowly getting warmer, and we have some exciting things to look forward to.

Noah's birthday is the 20th and we are planning his birthday party for the 27th. We have reserved the birthday room at Backyard Adventures' showroom. We are inviting all of Noah's class, so I think he will have so much fun. He deserves to have some fun- I am so proud of him lately for how hard he has been working at school and how much help he has been at home since Seth's been working so much.

Another thing I'm excited about is that we just switched gyms. We have belonged to 24 Hour Fitness for 10 years now. I have done the classes there for that long and have made a lot of friends and acquaintances in the classes. We decided to switch to Urban Active because it is so close to our house, and because I was getting frustrated with a couple things at 24 Hour. They were taking away class times, and the parking lot was ridiculous!! I could rarely find a spot in the lot, so I had to park across the street and it was hard when I had the kids with me to walk that far in the cold and snow.

I got a two day pass so I could try out the classes before we joined, so Ella and I went on Thursday morning. I was surprised by how nervous I was! I was nervous because I didn't know where the classes where, where the equipment was in the class, what the class would be like, etc., but when I walked in, I had two friends who I knew from the classes at 24 Hour Fitness. One of them showed me what to do and the instructor was actually an instructor at 24 Hour as well, so the class was familiar. I LOVE the new gym and I love that it takes me 3 minutes to get home. I am excited about going and I feel much better after getting exercise.

Why even bother.....

Sometimes I feel like Eeyore. Like there is a dark raincloud over my head and nothing good is going to happen. I try so hard to stay positive and keep reminding myself of all the blessings in my life, but then once a month I have to start all over again.

I told myself that as long as I was pregnant by what would have been my due date (March 27th) that everything would be okay. But that is a lot of pressure. We have been trying for six months now with no luck. That's six times that I've wondered (and hoped) that my symptoms were pregnancy symptoms only to find out that they were symptoms of my period. Six times that I've prayed and hoped and wished and waited anxiously for a certain date, only to be discouraged and frustrated by my period. And it is so discouraging to have to suffer through a period when that is the last thing in the world that you want to be doing.

Now I am no longer dealing as much with the emotions of the miscarriage, but am dealing with the emotions of trying unsuccessfully to become pregnant. It gives new meaning to the concept of a monthly cycle. Not only is my body going through a cycle, but my emotions are as well. And every time I get my period I feel anger, disappointment, sadness, and it brings up all the feelings I had with the miscarriage all over again.

The past couple months I've tried just "letting it all go" and not putting so much pressure on myself. I've tried thinking "whatever will happen will happen", but that's so much easier said than done.

Every day I remind myself of all the blessings that I have in my life and there are many. I remind myself that there are MUCH worse things in life than what we are going through, and that many people are much worse off than we are. I tell myself that I am so blessed to have two beautiful children and a supportive husband and that we are lucky to be healthy, have jobs, and a house, and that the kids have both sets of grandparents so close by.

March 27th is almost here and I am not going to be pregnant by then, but it will be okay. I will just keep telling myself things will all work out for the best. What else can we do?

Valentines Day

The kids and I made some snow ice cream last week-end. Lord knows we have enough snow to make ice cream to last the next hundred years. I found a recipe online that was very easy and we added blue food coloring for a little extra "uumph"! recipe

On Valentine's day the kids and I made heart shaped sugar cookies.

In the evening we had a "pajama movie night", watched "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs", and ate popcorn and candy. The kids had a ball and the movie was super cute.

Ella loves her kitty!

Not sure if the kitty loves her hugs, though!

Ella's favorite song