Blessed

I've been whining and moaning lately about how hard it is to be a "single parent" during tax season, but I've decided to get my act together and be grateful for what I have and quit feeling sorry for myself.

I am not a single parent. I have a loving, supportive, wonderful husband who works HARD for our family. Do I wish he were home more? Yes, of course. But I am proud of him for being dedicated to his family and working so hard for us. My friend Leslie helped me put it in perspective when she mentioned her husband being gone during hunting season, and that, at least tax season is a job and not a choice to be gone from the family. I starting thinking about all the other things Seth could be doing- drinking, gambling, having affairs, watching South Park- and I realized that I cannot be upset with him for working a lot a few months out of the year.

I've been a little stressed out lately about the kids. Ella has always been such a good sleeper, but lately she's been going through this clingy, whiny, separation anxiety phase, and has been throwing big fits at bedtime. Screaming "mommy no bye-bye, mommy hold you, no bye-bye". I was telling her babysitter, Lisa, about my frustration with this, and she reminded me that there are worse things than my baby wanting to be held and I realized that I should just enjoy it and give her snuggles because the time will come all too soon when she wants nothing to do with me.

Speaking of her babysitter, I feel so blessed to have found her!!!! Last night I got stuck in a very stressful meeting until 5:30 and didn't get home until 6:30. Seth was out of town and so I called to say I would be late picking up the kids. Lisa was so understanding and even called me back to see if the kiddos could eat dinner with her family. She treats our kids like part of their family and is always helpful and understanding. I don't know what we'd do without her. I can't imagine she has time to read my blog, but if you do- we love you Lisa!

I need to quit thinking about what I don't have and be appreciative for all that I do, because we have a lot. Most importantly we have family and friends who are helpful and supportive, and I need to remember that and be thankful.

Busy Week-end

We had a fun, busy, and exhausting week-end. Well, the kids and I did. That guy that comes home every now and then to shower, leave dirty laundry, and maybe sleep a few hours here and there worked all week-end. Poor Seth.

Noah had his last ice skating lesson on Friday night and Grandpa Donnie and Grandma Jolene came to watch. They were impressed by his turns- which he calls his "super spins". On Saturday afternoon, my mom came over to watch Ella so that Noah and I could go during public skating time. We had a fun time, but I discovered that the pair of ice skates that I've had for about 18 years now no longer fit like they once did. I think my feet got fatter after having babies.

Today I took the kids swimming at Montclair. Talk about exhausting!! Ella has absolutely no fear in the water and kept wanting me to let go of her. Little Miss Independent didn't realize that she couldn't touch the bottom, and, oh yeah, she can't swim. It was fun, though, and a great workout for mommy- my biceps and legs are going to be sore tomorrow from holding her up and doing a continuous squat in the water. If I ever tried to stand up straight, I either had to bend over to hold her in the water, which hurt my back, or listen to her scream about how she wanted down. I couldn't go where the water was deeper, though, because I had to stay in the shallow to watch Noah.

The hardest part was trying to get ready to go home. Ella cried and cried and said "NO!! NO BYE-BYE! NO MOMMY! NO BYE-BYE, SWIM! ELLA SWIM!!" etc.... I managed to get her dressed and help Noah get dressed, but then as I was trying to get dressed she (still screaming) took off all her clothes and threw her diaper in the trash. Of course, I had only brought one, so I dug it out of the trash (I don't even want to think about how unsanitary that is), put her clothes back on her, and the little stinker took them off again!! We finally managed to get out and get home and Noah conked out as soon as we got home. Swimming wore him out. I hear that, buddy!

I also joined Facebook this week-end. I have so much extra time that I thought I should probably spend it on the computer. Right. I don't know what I was thinking because it's horribly addicting, but I found out that two of my friends were on and I didn't want to be left out (thanks a lot Molly and Leslie!). If you're on Facebook- look me up!! ☺

Do blondes have more fun?

I'll find out soon.... After 32 years of having blonde hair, I am now a brunette after my hair appointment tonight. I'm still not sure what possessed me to actually decide to change the color so drastically (to me anyway), but I made a split second decision when my rear hit that chair, and now I have to live with it for at least the next 8 weeks until my next appointment. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I hope I just need to get used to it. I was anxious to see what Noah would say when I got home, because he will always tell it like it is. He said it looks "tough", which in his super hero world is a great compliment, I guess. I'll have to post a picture when I get one. Now what am I going to blame my dumb moments on???

odds and ends

I had written in an earlier post that Ella was calling me "mom" and not "mommy". I'm back to being "mommy". Actually, it's "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy......etc"., all day long. But, she's so stinking sweet I don't mind.

Seth was out of town for work the end of last week, and while he was gone Ella's vocabulary quadrupled, I think. Noah said something to her like "come here, little baby" and she shook her head and said "uh-uh, not baby......Ella!" She told him.

I was giving her her ridiculously inappropriate 2 oz bottle before bed the other night (I know, I know.... spare me the lecture), and she said it was "yucky". I said "no, it's not yucky", and she drank it all. When she finished it she said "mommy, dat bah-oh yucky!" Well, then why did you drink the whole thing?

She found her tutu in her closet the other day, and insisted on wearing it. And the hair bow. All day long. She's such a little girly-girl and mommy eats up every second of it.

Noah had fun playing in the snow this week-end. He got to go sledding with Seth and our neighbor who is a few weeks older than Noah, and the neighbor's dad. He had a blast, but was worn out when they got home. Noah would stay out in the snow all day long if I let him.

Seth and I had a very fun Valentine's Day this year. The kiddos had a sleepover at my parents house, and Seth and I had dinner at home and were asleep by 9:30. We slept until 8:00 and that 10 and 1/2 hours of sleep was the BEST present I could have ever gotten. Thanks Mom!!!

I seriously don't know how single parents do it. It is HARD WORK! This week while Seth was out of town just about killed me. I love my children dearly, but the break this week-end was sooooooo wonderful and rejuvenating!

trees, bushes, sticks, and lakes

I have two main parenting goals for tax season this year (well, the obvious one is to stay sane- but that goes without saying and is an annual feat in emotional restraint). The other two are:

Goal #1: Limit the kids' t.v. time to no more than 1/2 hour a day.

I remember being the all-knowing child expert while in graduate school (with no children) and secretly (or maybe not so secretly) frowning upon the concept of using the television as a babysitter. Of course that is wrong. Of course parents should spend quality time with their children. But no one can tell me that letting the kids watch 1/2 an hour of Diego so that I can make dinner is any worse than yelling at Ella to get down off the table and stay out of the dishwasher while telling Noah to please stop flushing the toilet and quit picking on your sister, while I'm frantically pulling some frozen, calorie-laden meal out of the freezer to throw in a pan and feed the little monsters.

No, a little quiet time for mommy is a necessary and beautiful thing. And, gracias Diego and Alicia, for teaching my children some Spanish while I'm pouring their leche or agua for dinner. Having said that, I do think it's important to try to limit the t.v. time, and I find that that's even harder to do when it's just me home with the kiddos 24/7. But, it's a goal I will definitely strive toward.

Goal #2: Try to fix healthy, well-balanced meals for dinner

This is a hard goal for me during tax season when I'm just cooking for the 3 of us, mainly because of the chaos that is the 5:00-6:00 time for us, especially on days I work. It's easy to throw in some sort of prepackaged meal, or heat up chicken nuggets and mac and cheese for the kids while I shovel in a bowl of cereal while trying to unload the dishwasher, make my lunch for work the next day, and writing out a check for the babysitter all at the same time, but I'm really trying to use those options only in emergencies.

I've been trying hard to get Noah to eat more vegetables and to be excited about eating healthy. He gets to go to the store with me to pick out some fresh fruit and veggies that he might like, and then he gets to choose one of each every night for dinner. So far it's been going well. He's excited about our dinner tomorrow, which is going to include trees, bushes, sticks, and a lake (broccoli, cauliflower, carrot sticks, and some fat free ranch) and also about pretending that we're herbivores on the night we get to eat salad!!

I'm also trying really hard to keep our dinners "family meals" while Seth is away. The t.v. is off, Noah and I say a prayer, and we really try and practice our good manners. To keep Noah entertained, I've made a set of "Dinner Cards" which are just note cards with questions on them like: "tell about a time when you were scared", and "if you could have any super power, what would it be and why". Noah LOVES it!! He raises his hand to answer, and really thinks hard about what he wants to say. Which gives him less time to think about how much he hates broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, and ranch.

Oh, For the Love........

I hate to be sounding so negative lately, but, seriously, I need to just go back to bed and wake up in March. February is not going well at all. It started with a literal bang when I had the whole stomach virus/ passing out/ face bruising/ neck hurting incident.

On Tuesday I was feeling well enough to go to the gym, so I went to my boot camp class where we were doing relays with partners. My partner and I were in the lead- ahead of the other 20 or so pairs of people. We had to do various things across the room and back, like sprinting, lunges, running with heavy weights, etc. We were on our last leg and had to do grapevines down and back (running sideways putting one foot in front of and then behind the other). I was on my very last step and my ankle rolled in half sideways. I would have fallen, but I caught myself on the mirror. If I had been smart, I would have left the class and let my ankle rest. But, we all know, that I am super competitive, and not very smart- so I finished out the class. And um..... ow. So, now my ankle is in serious pain, and every step I take makes me grimace, which then hurts my bruised cheekbone from the aforementioned passing out debacle.

Today, I am home sick from work with some sort of upper respiratory crap, and I just want to feel better! Or, at least not like a walking disaster- or should I say limping disaster?

Anyway, for some good news- I had a fun photo shoot yesterday with a friend from book club and her little cutie patootie who is 5 months old. He is so sweet, it was so fun, and I so want to have another baby.

I think it would be a good idea to not plan on that in February, however.

Down for the Count

Anyone who's a mother knows that moms cannot be sick. There's always too much to do, things to take care of, children to entertain etc. So, we moms, of course, do get sick from time to time, but we just muddle through it, pretend we are fine, and take care of the things we need to do.

That theory flew out the window for me this week-end. I went to bed feeling fine Friday night, maybe a bit run down, but who isn't by the end of the week? I fell asleep thinking of all the things we had going on for the week-end: I had a photo shoot on Saturday morning with a friend from book club, Noah was having a friend over Sat. afternoon for a play date, I had to get the house cleaned up because we were having a Superbowl party on Sunday, and Seth had to work all week-end.

I woke up at 5:00 Saturday morning feeling like I was going to throw up. I went into the bathroom and gagged a little, and then felt really woozy like I was going to pass out. I apparently stood up to try to go lay down in bed, but instead passed out against the bathroom door. I must have hit my face because I have a bruised forehead and cheek today, and I apparently hit my head, because it hurt really bad. I was laying against the closed door, so Seth couldn't open it to come in after he heard the crash. Somehow, he pushed his way in and helped my get to bed, where I laid shivering uncontrollably. My head, neck, and lower back hurt like heck and I couldn't even function. Not to mention the loss of bodily functions that occurred when I passed out. Man, I wish Depends were more comfortable so I could just wear them all the time in case of unfortunate events!! I told Seth we had to go to the ER, so he called his mom who came over to watch the kids, bless her.

When we got there, they did some x-rays to make sure I hadn't broken anything- I hadn't- so they determined that I had some sort of virus-like stomach bug and sent me home with some anti-nausea drugs. I took those suckers religiously every four hours, and then slept for 4-5 hours at a time all day. Seth ended up staying home with the kids, and needless to say, the photo shoot, playdate, and party were all cancelled. So much for "faking my way through it" like I do with most illnesses, this one kicked my you-know-what. I'm feeling better today, still a little shaky, but I'm able to function and get out of bed. My mom is watching Noah all day, bless her, so I have one less kid to chase around.

This week-end definitely reminded me that, no matter what plans you may have, no matter how much you have to do, there are some things you just cannot control and sometimes you just need to stay in bed and sleep all day if that's what it takes because that's all you can do. Luckily for us moms, those times are far and few between.