Summertime....

And the living is NOT easy!! Last Friday was my last day of work and Noah's last day of preschool. We had a very fun Memorial Day week-end- the kids got to go swimming two days in a row, the weather was beautiful, and Seth was home!!! On Tuesday Seth went out of town for three days and the kids and I all proceeded to get sick with terrible colds.

I love my children, but MAN, when I am sick and they are whining and crabbing and hitting and just plain being oppositional, I really wonder how we're going to make it through the summer. Then I feel terribly guilty that I am not enjoying my children, and I think that I should feel so lucky and blessed that I have the summers off to spend with them instead of waking up in the morning dreading the day ahead.

I think that one of the hardest parts of motherhood is the guilt. Guilt that I'm not doing things right, guilt that I'm not being a good mom, guilt that I'm not loving every second of being a mom, the guilt goes on and on. And the hardest part of it all is that we mothers don't feel like we can talk about those feelings to other people because we are so afraid that then others will think we are terrible mothers, too.

I know that this is just one of many bumps in the road and that we will get over our colds and get into a routine and, hopefully, start enjoying our time off. And then, like every year, when the middle of August comes around, I will be dreading having to go back to work and lamenting how quickly the summer flew by.